LARRY AND DOTTI VAN WERDEN
As told by Dotti

I was born on September 24, 1938, to Dorothy and Waldo Don Carlos. Waldo, a former center for the Green Bay Packers, was now a small town lawyer. Dorothy, a former teacher, was now a stay-at-home wife and a new mother to Dorothy Gene (Dotti). Dorothy means "gift of God". .... even such a gift could be challenging at times.

I remember the Little Bo Peep wallpaper on my bedroom wall and the name of a babysitter called Grandma Starr. When I was three years of age, I peddled uptown by myself to visit Dad at his office. His office was located on the square above my grandfather's abstract business. I had traveled the five blocks without any harm. I don't know which parent called the other first, but neither one was happy with my choice of adventure... relieved to know where I was and safe. I think the relief part saved me from a spanking!

When I was four and one-half, we moved to a different house in the south part of town that was one and a half blocks from the school. It was a big two story house with a very large yard. By this time my brother Bill had been born. We all slept upstairs. Again my adventurous nature came to the forefront as I took my two and a-half year old brother out through the window of my bedroom onto the roof of the front porch. We had a good time wandering the roof area and looking out across the neighborhood. I don't remember a spanking, but I do remember getting a GOOD scolding! Bill didn't seem traumatized by the experience. In fact, he later piloted his own plane.

We had two beautiful and loving collie dogs, Lad and Lassie, who lived with us for many years. After their death we had other dogs. Mostly strays or mutts that Bill brought home. One was a small, white, long haired dog that bounced when she ran. Thus, named Bouncer. My dad did not like cats, but we had a few of them that usually wandered away.

In our big back yard, Dad raised mink. We had about 20 or so pens. Their main food was horse meat. I would go with Mom to pick it up at Hainline's in Orient, Iowa. They raised mink, fox, and other fur animals. I remember going into the butchering area where carcasses of horses were hanging. I didn't think anything about it at the time... it was just meat for the animals. I would be most uncomfortable doing that today.

When Dad decided to quit farming mink, he selected some of the best and had a fur coat made for Mom as well as a hat and a stole. They were beautiful and very stylish in that time period. Although I inherited these pieces, I will never wear them. They represent a period in history, and a loving gift to Mom from Dad, but I don't believe in growing animals for their fur.

WWII was taking place when I was in first grade. We lived in Boston to be near Dad, who was in Officer's Training School at Harvard. I attended a Catholic school and developed a healthy respect for the Sisters. They were really strict and I didn't want to get into trouble with them! One little boy was always in trouble and I felt so sorry for him. I was puzzled by the fact that instead of attending the Catholic church where I attended school, we traveled clear across the city to the Methodist. I did enjoy sitting in our little boxed pew in the Methodist church.

We moved across town to another house, which we shared with another Navy family who had two boys. Dick was a year older than me, their Bill was the same age as our Bill. The family lived in Corning, Iowa and the friendship continued after the war. I'm sure I went to another school but remember nothing about it.

Boston memories are of the smells and sounds of the ship horns on the waterfront and the expanse of the ocean . . .the metallic odors of the rumbling subways . . .walks in the Boston Gardens . . . rides on the swan boats, and the sculpture for "Make Way for Ducklings." The book, ""Make Way for Ducklings," by Robert McCloskey, is one of my favorite stories even today.

Dad completed his naval training and was assigned to the battleship USS Pennsylvania which was docked at Hunter's Point in San Francisco. Mom traveled with Dad to San Francisco to get settled in, then returned to Greenfield for me and brother Bill who had been in the care of great-aunt Grace. I had started second grade and don't remember finishing that level due to our move. We traveled by a train that was full of soldiers. There was much rationing of goods during the second world war....plastic sacks of white oleo with little pellets of color that you would break then squeeze into the oleo to give it a yellow butter color....very little sugar....recycling of smashed tin cans....no silk hose for the ladies. Instead, one could buy coloring for the legs that gave the appearance of silk hose. This was most fascinating to me. We traveled to San Francisco by a train that was full of soldiers. While standing in the lunch line one day I invited the soldiers to lean down and feel Mom's legs! She was so embarrassed!

Dad was an officer on the ship, thus we were able to eat on board sometimes. What a fun experience! They had large green olives that I loved and chocolate ice cream, my favorite. One of the officers that I really liked always stirred his ice cream so I did the same. To this day, I enjoy chocolate ice cream, souped up, and eaten with a green olive in each bite!

The Pennsylvania shipped out. During its active duty, it did receive bomb damage that could be repaired, the war ended, Dad returned home to Greenfield. I was fortunate because one on my friends down the street lost her Daddy.

Other than that interim of grades one and two, I went to kindergarten through eight grades all in one building in Greenfield. In third grade I started wearing glasses. Between fourth and eighth grades my life was pretty typical small town Iowa. I was a junior high cheerleader, sang in chorus, played the clarinet, and was in the eighth grade play, swam in the summer, took dancing lessons, participated in Girl Scouts, 4-H and a variety of church activities. I loved the cooking and sewing projects in 4-H and a number of them were selected to go on to the Iowa State Fair. Mom didn't sew so the neighbor across the street was my mentor. I was surprised when my red polka dot skirt and blouse were selected for the State Fair. The judges gave me a red that matched the polka dots. I felt pleased that it had done that well. Cooking came to me more naturally and those projects won blue ribbons at the State Fair. My mother and both grandmothers were good cooks.

High School was a fun and busy time. Being the freshman attendant for the Homecoming Queen meant a chilly ride around the football field on game night! Flag swinging was an up and coming addition to marching band. There was more physical activity swinging a flag than playing a clarinet so I quit playing the clarinet. Singing in the choirs and small groups, especially the madrigal group, was rewarding. Drama and home economics were my two favorite classes. Winning the Betty Crocker award my senior yearfit in with my goal of becoming a home ec teacher. However, I did love participating in every high school play. My favorite was the lead role in "Lavender and Old Lace." My drama teacher encouraged me to go to get a degree in drama. I did win many awards in drama contests and loved acting. However, my eye was on Iowa State College.

During a "Remember When" game, the question was asked "Who was it that suggested skipping school after taking the ACT tests in Creston?" "It was Dotti Don Carlos," came the answer! I have to admit, it was my idea. There were 12 of us....all top students and very involved in a variety of high school activities. We were all called to the principal's office the next morning. He couldn't believe that we would even think of doing such a thing....and asked me why??? I gave him an honest answer .... "I had known of many other kids during the years who had skipped school and I was just curious to know how it felt." He shook his head, expressed his disappointment in us and sent us back to class. I know we disappointed our parents, too, but that thought didn't really enter our heads as we anticipated such an adventure. What did I find out? It was boring and not very much fun. I really wouldn't recommend it.

Our family had always been Methodist. Dad was a Conference Lay Leader and I was active in Methodist Youth Fellowship and held offices on the district Methodist Youth Fellowship Council. When I was a senior, some of us were selected to go for a trip to Washington D.C. It was interesting — maybe the only time I will ever be in Washington, D.C., but I have good memories of our time spent there, visiting with congressmen and seeing the sights.

I did go to Iowa State College (now Iowa State University) after high school graduation in 1956. During my college years I was involved in my church youth group, Kappa Delta Sorority, Child Development Club, Barjche modern dance club, and Sigma Alpha Iota, a music honorary. As a freshman, I tried out for the Iowa State Singers Tour Group. Much to my surprise, I was selected. It required a lot of time and hard work but was so much fun and rewarding. As a senior, I changed my major from Home Economics to Child Development. Summers were spent as a camp counselor at Bolter Camps in Annandale, Minnesota. College graduation was in 1960.

I met Larry when I was a junior at ISC. I needed a ride back to Iowa State one weekend. My brother was dating his sister so it was arranged that Bill would take me to Winterset so Larry could give me a ride back to Iowa State where he was also a student. Larry was taking three of his friends back to college and they were sitting in the back seat of the car. One of his friends put gum in my hair and thought that just the funniest thing! I WAS NOT IMPRESSED! I didn't want to see any of those guys again.

Little did I know what difference a year could make. Larry had transferred to Wyoming for a semester. He wrote me the nicest letter, which led me to believe that he must not be too bad. He later returned to Iowa State, and called me for a study date. We dated casually for the rest of the year. After graduation I accepted a county extension job in Lucas County; he drove a rock truck in Winterset....near enough to see each other. In late winter, things began to get more serious. We came from similar backgrounds — both fathers were lawyers although Larry's father had died in 1956....each had a brother practicing law, each mother had been a teacher. We were both Methodists, although the levels of faith and trust in Jesus Christ were very different. I enjoyed fine art activities, Larry enjoyed being a rodeo cowboy. (He did bare back riding, bull riding, and steer wrestling. These interests we enjoy sharing today as spectators only.)

Larry had planned to farm the family dairy business and I had accepted a job as the Madison County home economist. However, the farm tenants, who were excellent, wanted to continue on the farm. We were married in 1961. Larry accepted a job with the Federal Land Bank in Grand Island, Nebraska. I worked in adult education teaching sewing classes and child development classes. One of our neighbors was an older couple that took a special interest in us. She taught me to knit. We were blessed with a precious baby boy. My first knitting project was a baby sweater for Doug. It turned out very nicely until I washed it in hot water. I stuck to knitting mittens after that experience.

The Iowa relatives missed us and decided Larry should be a lawyer! His choice of schools was between Drake University (Don Carlos alums) or University of Iowa (Van Werden alums). Larry chose Drake. I knew I was going to need to work full-time and have a babysitter for Doug. I had two interesting offers of employment. My first choice was with the Child Guidance Clinic. I really, really wanted to work there. Dr. Barnes said they would like to hire me. He wanted me to know that the CGC came first because of the type of child clientele with whom they worked.. If Doug became ill, I could not stay home with him. I had to be at the Clinic. I felt disappointment but my first responsibility was to my own son. I had an offer from the Jewish Day Care, and that was the offer I accepted..

Growing up in Greenfield had not provided any experiences in working with people of other nationalities or religions. The Lord has mysterious ways of guiding our lives and he was providing me with a new experience. The Center wanted to develop a before and after daycare for school age children at the Bird School. I worked from 6:00 AM to 8:00 A.M. and returned from 3:30 P.M. to 5:30 Monday through Friday. I worked at the Day Care Center during the rest of the work day, doing office work and supervising Iowa State child development students in their student teaching program. It was a good experience in working with people of another color and background. My awareness went from color as a race of people to people as individuals all created in the image of God.

This time period in American history was one of the black people struggling for recognition and respect as given to other American citizens. Although I was aware of the marches of Martin Luther King and agreed with his goal, I was too caught up in my own struggling and self identification to become personally involved. However, without giving it any thought, I was really in the middle of what was happening. One of the mothers in the Bird School community invited me to a ladies meeting one evening. When I told her my mother and grandmother were visiting, she invited them, too. Everyone visited and ate, there was not a feeling of discomfort. It was a lot of fun. On the way home, my grandmother (Nannie) stated with some surprise, "Why, they are just like we are." I was surprised that she thought they were any different, which goes to show how little I really understood about "equality of people" in the United States. I now realize how eye-opening that experience was in Nannie's life at 75 + years of age.

One my former IS C students called to tell me she had just accepted a position at Smouse School to work with handicapped children. A new program was being initiated in the public schools to work with handicapped children. She thought I would enjoy it and suggested that I look into the situation. The Day Care wanted me to do the driving of the big school bus during times the children needed transportation to the Hawley building for medical check-up, etc. That scared me to death, so I applied for a position with the school system as a teacher for the handicapped.

That fall, I traveled to Madison School, walked into my new classroom and found I had 12 primary age students, a set of blocks, and a few books. The older and experienced teacher across the hall lived near my hometown. Across the hall I went asking what in the world should I do? She said, "You call the supervisor Morris, and tell him what you need." Problem solved. I had a top-notch principal who allowed me to develop the program. We had so much fun doing hands-on activities to make our learning real.

My Dad was a Shriner and gave me tickets to take the kids to the Shrine Circus. My principal gave me the okay. Most of the children were bussed over from the Moulton School area. My parents, brother, and Larry provided transportation. I had the responsibility of going to the door, in areas which I had never been in, to pick up each child. That was quite a learning experience, too....children living in homes with dirt floors to apartment buildings with loud barking dogs and rattling chains.

All twelve of the students were loaded in and to the circus we went. The kids were so mannerly, a delight to have. It was fun watching them having such a good time. I worked at Madison for two years.

Larry took the responsibility of getting Doug to the babysitter every morning since I always left early. He then went to his classes, I picked Doug up on my way home from teaching. We lived in a two story duplex — two bedrooms and a bath up, a living room, small dining room and a tiny kitchen clown, and a clean basement where I could do sewing while Doug rode his tricycle around. We acquired my family dog, Cindy, a warm and loving Weimaraner. She gave birth to one puppy while living with us. The puppy found a home with my brother, Bill. Cindy didn't want to go back home with my parents when they returned from their trip. Doug loved her and she remained with us until her death a numbers of years later. I did a lot of canning in the summer and picked up a couple of education courses so I could continue teaching with a temporary certificate.

Larry started interviewing for a job. He did have certain stipulations....near family, but not in one of their firms, near Des Moines because he loved the Iowa State Fair! He decided to accept the offer from the Reynoldson Law Firm. He was impressed with Ward and Jan Reynoldson. I didn't think the community was very attractive at that time, but the choice was Larry's.

We moved into an old house that did have two bedrooms and a big backyard where I could have a garden and plenty of play space for children. Noel and Alice Friday lived on one side of us, Dr. Harken on the other. We were fortunate to have such good neighbors. We found that we were going to have another baby. When Mark was born, Dr. Harken was anxious to see him and hurried over as we arrived home from the hospitaLHe unwrapped him and looked him over carefully. He had some red spots on his tummy which Dr. diagnosed as staph infection. He sent us down to the Clinic immediately and called to alert our doctor.

The Gerald De Witt family lived on the comer. Their daughter Linda did a lot of babysitting for us during the next few years. Norma enjoyed sewing so we had a good time sharing sewing adventures.

Larry enjoyed law practice and became involved with a group of young men who set up a Development Corporation. It has developed into a very community minded organization and the town has prospered. I am proud to be living in Osceola.

Soon after Mark was born, Christi arrived, then along came Mike! I had phlebitis after the last three births and was advised not to have any more children. We were also doing foster care at this time. It was a busy household.

We were involved in short term foster care work for 18 years. We served 20 children during this time. Foster care was challenging. We did not ever know when we would get a call, how many children might be in need, or how long they would stay. We cared for them as if they were our own.

We needed a bigger house so we moved to 316 South Fillmore, where we reside today (2008). We had four bedrooms, a big back yard to accommodate children, pets, and a garden. It was located near Larry's office, businesses on the square, a preschool in the basement of the Presbyterian Church and the Methodist Church, although I later became a member of the Assembly of God.

When our youngest was in fourth grade, I decided to return to school and the world of teaching. I became certified in special needs preschool and elementary (ISU and Graceland Universities) as well as a Master's from Drake University.

All in all, I spent 23 years teaching at Clarke Elementary in the special needs preschool, then fourth grade at Weldon, first grade at Clarke, which was a memorable year. It was a new location, a new grade level, and a bout with breast cancer which included surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation. I continued to teach and was fortunate to have a great sub on the days that I had to deal with my chemo treatments. After a few more years in first grade, there was an opening at the preschool level. I applied and received the transfer. The school moved the preschool to the Early Childhood Center at the Village. I elected to resign from the Village Board due to the possibility of conflict of interest.

I had enjoyed the experience regarding the groundwork of planning and building such an  establishment. The board, under the direction of board president, Lisa Oswald (Leuders), worked diligently on the planning and building of a much needed early childhood center in Osceola. It was an exciting privilege to be able to work at the Center. Following retirement from the school, I worked at the Center and subbed as a Head Start teacher.

My retirement is rewarding. As long as my health and mind function effectively, I will continue to serve on community boards and organizations, be involved in teaching, enjoy my grandchildren, spend time with friends, expand my knowledge and practice of flower and vegetable gardening, as well as participating in our yearly trip to Sun City West, Arizona, Leech Lake, Minnesota, and Branson, Missouri.

Larry will continue his work at the law office, read horse magazines, tend to our small herd of horses, and enjoy eating and visiting with friends.

I find there is a freedom in being a senior citizen:

__a lot of lessons have been learned (some very difficult)

__an excitement in combining what I've learned to facilitate more learning and action

__the privilege and fun of using my time as I desire

__taking time to appreciate my blessings

__the joy of waking up each morning to say ""Good Morning, Lord. Thank you, I love you."

Return to main page for Recipes for Living 2008 by Fern Underwood

Last Revised October 19, 2014